19 Lessons Learned in 2019 Madeline Wilson-Ojo

Happy new year readers!

Firstly, do you like the makeover our blog has undergone? I finally decided to make the switch from Blogger to self-hosted, and with that came the opportunity to spruce up the place a bit.

It’s almost 6 pm on the day after new years day, and I’m sitting here in my PJs having spent almost the whole day in and out of sleep. My body clock is still on holiday mode, and I’m wondering what the first post of 2020 should be about.

It has been so long since I last blogged I feel like I have almost forgotten how to string a blog post together. So how about beginning the year with something simple and honest? 2019 was an interesting year so to speak, and whilst it wasn’t necessarily one of those years that had me ticking off a long list of achievements, it did present to me quite a few profound lessons, so I have decided to share 19 Lessons Learned in 2019 – lessons I have decided to take into 2020 with me.

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1. It’s never too late to make new friends

A few years back, after a couple of friendship breakups, I vowed there would be no new friends (thanks Drake!) I was done with female friendships and was happy to navigate life with just my bestie from 1998 and hubby by my side. But in 2019, I realised that allowing myself to be vulnerable again forged some of the strongest bonds and even restored some old ones which had long gone cold.

2. Make time and money for the things that give you joy

Speaking of new friends. One of the vows I and my new sisters made was to make time and money available to dine and drink at London’s bougiest restaurants and bars, at least once a quarter. Why? Well, why not?

3. Sometimes, you just have to take a social media break

You might have noticed my Instagram feed ground to a halt sometime in the year. That’s because I eventually decided to give my phone a break and just let life be. I was getting too caught up in the numbers and wanted to re-establish a healthy relationship with the app. perfect.

4. Be grateful

One series I really got into last year was The Crown. In it, something Queen Elizabeth (played by Olivia Colman) said was. “the thing about unhappiness, is that something worse can come along and make you realise it was happiness all along”. It changed my perspective on life. I thank God for every day that comes – good or bad.

5. Be unapologetic about the things that please you

I used to hide the fact that I enjoy watching reality TV because it didn’t fit in with my geeky persona (cue The Real Housewives, and Love & Hip Hop franchises). But after a stressful day, there is simply nothing like a bit of ratchetness to ease the tension!

6. More people care about you than you think

At some point last year, I began battling with thoughts of inadequacy and feeling like nobody would care if I were to disappear (please not in a suicidal way! I was just going through it a little bit) But the kindness of internet friends who messaged to check on me as well as loved ones and my church family who called and visited taught me otherwise.

You may also want to read: My Biggest Blogging Regrets

7. Shit happens…yes even to good people

You know what? One day we’ll revisit this over a couple of glasses of wine.

8. Show yourself some grace

In 2019’s final weeks, I got so hung up about the fact that I had no tangible achievements. But as the year drew to a close, I saw reminders everywhere that considering the setbacks, I hadn’t done too bad.

9. You won’t always hit your goals…and that’s ok. The main thing is that you’re trying

Sometimes we miscalculate the ‘complete by’ dates of our goals, and that’s OK. Sometimes life hits so hard you are forced to take a break and that’s OK too. But I have learned that the day you quit altogether is the day you accept defeat.

10. Love on people whilst they are here

It’s no secret that our modern way of life is making us all insular. In 2019 I learned the importance of being intentional about countering this trend. Of course we are all busy but even if you can only reach out by text or email to a family member or friend, please do it.

11. Decluttering feels good

One good thing that came out of 2019 was the opportunity to declutter my flat. Between the 19th and the 30th December, I deposited four large bags of books and clothes to my local Shelter charity shop, and I still have one more bag of shoes to donate. Honestly, I feel lighter. I feel good and productive. And I just can’t help but think I’m clearing space for new blessings in my life.

12. Multiple streams of income are essential

I know this because when I ceased freelance copywriting, I literally felt the effects of that stream dry up! In 2020 we’re going for more money-generating opportunities!

13. When things are tough, be honest with yourself.

We are all so used to smiling through the pain, but at what cost? Sometimes life can hurt and it’s best to admit that than grimace and bear it. Just before my unannounced blogging break, I had collaborations planned which should have gone live on the blog from October through December. However, as life (and myself) became unhinged, I firstly had to admit to myself that I couldn’t function as normal. I then made the difficult decision to contact my collaborators to let them know that I had temporarily suspended our plans.

14. Not everyone who smiles at you is a friend

The earlier you learn this, the better it will be for you.

15. It’s ok to take the easy route

I had been wanting to move madelinewilsonojo.com from Blogger to self-hosted WordPress for ages. I have had countless tabs open on the computer with articles detailing how I could do this myself. But in the end, Pipdig did it for me in three days. (No, this is not an ad)

16. Just take the first step. No matter how small

It sounds cliche, but honestly taking the first step to achieving any goal, no matter how big or small, or tedious it may seem will embolden you to take the next, and the next and the next. I know you have big plans for yourself in 2020, so don’t play yourself. Make the move now!

17. Make peace with the past and move on

In order for you to move freely through the new year in joy and peace, you will need to accept the L’s of last year and leave it where it belongs. In the past. Similarly, don’t get so stuck on your wins that you find it impossible to move onto the next achievement.

For anyone bummed about those decade accomplishment posts because these years weren’t good to you: if you survived loss or depression or not feeling good enough, and you’re still here — a unique and remarkable person on this earth — that’s the greatest accomplishment of all.

— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) December 30, 2019

18. Perfectionism can lead to delay

I believe one of the factors that kept me stagnant over the past couple of years was the need to have things ordered in a specific way before taking it to the next level. I realised that I am not even giving myself a chance by being so overly fixated on the minor details. Well, no more of that in 2020. The world will need to accept me and my things (and you and yours) as they are!

19. There’s always another chance to start over.

I don’t know about you, but 2019 was a hot mess for me. I’ve made peace with that but boy am I ready for fresh beginnings!

I am wishing you all of God’s blessings this year. I am keen to know what lessons you’re bringing with you, and what your plans have for 2020.