Dust that Dirt Off Your Shoulder! (How to Deal with Criticism)

Criticism is never a nice thing to receive because as humans we thrive on praise (although it can sometimes leave us with reddened cheeks!). But, be it about our appearance or a project we have sweated over, criticism can leave us with a considerable lack of confidence, and even cause us to question the motives of our faultfinders. 
If you are sensitive like me, the effects of criticism can be devastating. I remember crying my eyes out after learning that a handful of my wedding guests had said some unsavoury things about my special day! Thankfully, I have grown a pair since then (I hope) and can share some things you can do to ‘dust that dirt off your shoulder’.

1. Helpful or hurtful?
Figure it out by listening carefully. Is the critique constructive and coming from a genuine place, or is the person simply being rude? You’ll be able to measure this through different metrics. For example, what is your relationship with the person? Have you given them permission to offer their feedback? Are they criticizing something that everyone else seems to have taken no issue with? If you deem their feedback helpful, then best to distance your emotions from the criticism (easily said than done, I know!), and just come back better. But if they are being hurtful, have your time to privately vent, cry or kick a door, then move on. Pay them no mind!
2. Delay, digest, deconstruct
The first thing we usually do when faced with criticism is to be defensive. And why wouldn’t you? The truth is criticism can hurt, and biting back is what we do when we feel under attack. But refrain from making excuses or lashing out. You’ll come across as salty or unteachable. Gather your thoughts first, and take as long or as little as you need to digest and deconstruct what the person is saying. 
3. Pull out the positive
In order to separate yourself emotionally from the criticism, pull out the crux of your critic’s comments and measure it up honestly against what they are criticising. This can be difficult to do, so turn to another person you can trust if possible. If their comments were truthful but delivery harsh, write out what they said in your own words. That should make it easier to digest.
3. Gracefully give or get an explanation
So you’ve stopped your impulse to cuss out your critic. Well done! BUT Sometimes, the ones who have the most to say about how we look, or how we conduct our business often do so from the safety of their proverbial soapbox. So, if you feel the criticism is not valid, simply ask for a breakdown of their feedback because you might stand corrected! Otherwise explain with reasons, why you think the person is judging you erroneously. I once calmly told someone that since I didn’t think they were really concerned about my health, I wouldn’t be accepting their opinion about my weight. OK – be more graceful than I was, but you get my point!

Smile through it!

4. Express gratitude
Take some time to thank the person for their feedback. If they meant it for your benefit, they will appreciate you taking it in good faith. Not only can it strengthen your relationship with them, it will help you to improve in the area under scrutiny. If they meant to be hurtful, you have immediately one up’d them by responding to their cruelty with kindness. Most often than not, you will have disarmed them with your cool demeanour.
5. Don’t persecute yourself
Hey, we all make mistakes right? So, it’s OK to not always get it right, and sometimes, unflattering feedback is a consequence of being human. I once read that we all have a chapter of our lives we don’t read out loud. So with this in mind, don’t allow criticism to lead you to take a dim view of yourself or your work.
6. Learn the lesson
The most important this is that you gain knowledge from any dialogue that does not go your way. If it was helpful criticism, then simply and use it to better yourself. And if it was cruel judgement, then take it as a lesson in how to strengthen your backbone! Either way, let it better you!
So there you have it. Six ways to dust that dirt off your shoulder! Do you have any scenarios about when you handled criticism well or blew it out of proportion to share? What other tips do you have when it comes to dealing with your critics?